Hit And Run
by Boukyaku-hime
Summary: [au] A slap to a wrong place may lead to embarrassing situations. [BalthierVaan]


**H**it** A**nd** R**un

**Yaoi. I don't own Final Fantasy XII.**

-

A loud shriek echoed through all Dalmasca Westersand.

Vaan jumped backwards and help his rear end, as he glared at the skypirate, who tried to look as innocent as possible. That bastard… The blond boy rubbed his butt and openly pouted.

"What's going on in here?" Basch, who had immediately rushed to them, as he had heard Vaan's scream, "What is that look for Vaan?"

Vaan blushed and pointed his finger at Balthier, "H-he…"

"No, Vaan, let me explain the situation." Balthier silenced Vaan and turned to look at Basch, "Vaan was bending over this one rock here and I thought that he was in a need of help. And well, you know Basch, how sometimes you just can't help your own hand. So all I can say is that it slipped."

Basch arched his eyebrow, not sure what Balthier was trying to say.

"Liar!!" Vaan yelled and narrowed his eyes at the brunet skypirate, "You… You **groped** me!!"

Basch's mouth dropped open, as he stared at Balthier, his eyes filling with disbelief.

"Oh dear, I should have never taught you that word…" Balthier sighed and shook his head, "And besides, it was just a harmless slap."

Vaan puffed his cheeks and balled his fists. He let out a loud snort, before turning around and stomping away, back towards Rabanastre, which luckily wasn't too far away. Both of the older men watched as he walked, his butt waving unintentionally as he did.

Basch shook his head weakly, "I would have expected a little bit more mature behaviour from a sophisticated man like you."

"Whatever do you mean?" Balthier grunted and folded his arms above his chest, "You would have done it too if you had had a chance."

"I, erm… I would never touch Vaan's private areas like that." Basch cleared his throat. He gained a doubting look from the other man, but he only shook his head and continued, "You should go apologize him. He seemed rather offended."

An evil glimpse came to Balthier's eye as he nodded his head and held his chin, "You are right, my dearest friend. I shall go and express my regret to him."

-

"So how was the hunting?" Penelo asked cheerfully, as Basch sat down next to her. The rest of the team, minus Balthier and Vaan, had gathered around a round table in Sandlot.

"Terrible." The veteran shook his head and picked up a glass of water, which had been placed in front of him, "Vaan said that Balthier had groped him, before he ran off. I told Balthier to apologize him."

Fran snorted quietly, "That little rogue. He apparently doesn't know when to back off."

"What do you mean, Fran?" Ashe asked and blinked her eyes, "Is there something going on between Balthier and Vaan?"

Fran only shrugged her slim shoulders as a reply. Penelo was just as confused as Ashe, as she turned to look at Basch, "Speaking of which… they have been gone for awfully long time. Balthier dragged Vaan to the restroom, mumbling something about an apology. Do you think that we should go check on them?"

Basch and Fran exchanged looks, but before they could protest, Ashe and Penelo had already stood up.

"Yes, we should check if something happened to them." Ashe smiled and grabbed her friend's hand.

"Wait, I don't think that you should—" Basch tried to stop them, but they had already left.

"Let them go and find out themselves." Fran said calmly and offered the man a gentle smile, "It is better than keeping them obscured forever, like Balthier and Vaan are trying to do."

Basch rubbed his temples, "I should have guessed that it was Balthier's fault that Vaan was unable to walk for a week…"

-

Ashe and Penelo stood in front of the men's restroom. They both pressed their ears against the solid door and listened to the odd voices coming from the other side. At first there was faint speaking, but neither one of the girls recognize the words.

"W-what's going on?" Penelo panicked, "Vaan sounds nervous…"

Ashe placed her finger on her lips, signalling the blond girl to be quiet.

But a sudden long and loud moan made the girls jump backwards, away from the door as if it was cursed. They stared at each other, their eyes wide and mouths left open.

"We need to do something…" Ashe said quietly and nodded her head towards the door, "God knows what Balthier is doing to Vaan!"

Penelo nodded and placed her hand on the doorknob. She turned to look at Ashe, who gave her a reassuring look. She gathered all the courage she had and pushed the door open, only to be greeted by an unexpected sight.

"Agh!" was all that came out of Penelo's mouth, as she saw Balthier pinning Vaan against a wall, hand in the smaller boy's pants.

"P-Pe-Penelo!!" Vaan mumbled, as he tried to push Balthier away from him, "This' not what it looks like!"

Balthier, whose hand was stuck in Vaan's pants (which he didn't mind, really), groaned.

Penelo, who was too shocked to say anything, turned around and ran away. Ashe stood still in the doorway, as if she had been paralysed to the spot. She opened and closed her mouth, trying to think of something to say.

"Is… Is this what you call apologizing?!" Ashe finally stated and placed her hands on her hips, "Skypirates… always so straightforward."

Vaan hid his face in Balthier's chest, as the princess turned around and left the two men alone.

"Oh god…" Vaan sighed deeply, "Whatever have I done to deserve an embarrassment like this?"

Balthier chuckled, although the situation was far from funny.

"Vaan, my hand is stuck in your pants."

_end_

A/N: Drop a review to make my day. :)


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